Precisely what you have been wearing since October because we are still in the same fashion season, autumn/winter. Yeah, that's right: fashion's so mofo badass it doesn't pay attention to anything as parochial as the changing of the year and other events on the Plebby Calendar, as opposed to the Fashion Calendar. Shame on you, Samantha, for even considering altering your wardrobe before spring/summer starts. Shame on you.
Being a kind-hearted sort, though, I shall save you from your embarrassment and pretend that what you really wanted to know was what trends are coming up this year. Well, I can unexclusively reveal that these include such perennially unflattering looks as pastel, bright yellow and boxy jackets, as well as "tribal", a look that is truly the crudité platter of the fashion buffet: always offered, rarely tempting.
One upcoming trend I can get behind is something magazines are calling "1920s glamour", which basically means knee-length dresses with dropped waists, which is nice. The only niggle I have with it is that fashion-magazine editors around the world have unilaterally decided that this trend has emerged in response to Baz Luhrmann's upcoming film adaptation of The Great Gatsby, starring Carey Mulligan as Daisy Buchanan, who I can accept, and Leonardo DiCaprio as the eponymous lead, who I cannot. Once again, Baz failed to consult me about the casting, which is really his loss because if only he had done this before I'd have saved him from casting the sexless and tuneless Nicole Kidman as Satine, the all-sexy, all-singing Satine in Moulin Rouge. But I digress. As usual.
My objection to this tenuous fashion linking to The Great Gatsby is that it is a spectacular missed opportunity because the film that magazines should use to illustrate this trend is The Artist. Bérénice Bejo as the female lead, swishes about in 1920s frocks in such a manner that it made at least one member of the audience suffer palpable pangs of regret to not have lived in the 1920s (pesky Great Depression aside). But then,canada goose jackets of course, The Artist doesn't have famous American or British actors in it, unlike The Great Gatsby, so heaven forfend it should be used to illustrate anything in the American or British press, no matter how good it is.
Obviously, one can't blame "1920s glamour" for lazy xenophobia so go with this trend, Samantha. Try not to do it too literally (ie don't wear a round-the-forehead headband, Bat for Lashes-style), but allow yourself some fun (a long cigarette holder is excellent for swatting impertinent suitors on the shoulders), and then go and see The Artist. Follow these rules and you will feel that all is right and well in the world in 2012.
Who are the upcoming fashion icons I should be copying these days?
Charlotte (13), London
Charlotte, you're a young 'un so I won't be too stern with you. Instead, I shall take you under my benevolent wing, heavy with wisdom and experience, and tell you that you should not "copy" anyone's style, least of all anyone referred to as a "fashion icon." My dear child, anyone who labours under the term "fashion icon" is almost certainly barely half as intelligent as a 13-year-old who reads a broadsheet newspaper. All those interchangeable French actresses, daughters of half-forgotten British pop singers and American actresses who all seem to be called "Jessica" or "Kate" and yet have never appeared in a single decent film who magazines tout as "fashion icons"? Charlotte, they are all swines before the pearl that is you.
If you want to take fashion inspiration from anyone, take it from the glorious Betty White, who turns 90 tomorrow. Betty is probably best known in Britain for playing Rose on The Golden Girls, although she really is so very much more than that. She is one of the great female – never mind fashion – icons America has to offer. Everyone of taste and discernment should mark Betty's birthday by wearing a matching pastel "pant suit", as Betty calls 'em. A fashion icon should be so much more than just a skinny twentysomething with a smart stylist: it should be someone who you actively admire and, Charlotte, if you start now taking inspiration from Betty White as opposed to someone who just happens to have a famous parent you will lead a happy and colourful life.
Being a kind-hearted sort, though, I shall save you from your embarrassment and pretend that what you really wanted to know was what trends are coming up this year. Well, I can unexclusively reveal that these include such perennially unflattering looks as pastel, bright yellow and boxy jackets, as well as "tribal", a look that is truly the crudité platter of the fashion buffet: always offered, rarely tempting.
One upcoming trend I can get behind is something magazines are calling "1920s glamour", which basically means knee-length dresses with dropped waists, which is nice. The only niggle I have with it is that fashion-magazine editors around the world have unilaterally decided that this trend has emerged in response to Baz Luhrmann's upcoming film adaptation of The Great Gatsby, starring Carey Mulligan as Daisy Buchanan, who I can accept, and Leonardo DiCaprio as the eponymous lead, who I cannot. Once again, Baz failed to consult me about the casting, which is really his loss because if only he had done this before I'd have saved him from casting the sexless and tuneless Nicole Kidman as Satine, the all-sexy, all-singing Satine in Moulin Rouge. But I digress. As usual.
My objection to this tenuous fashion linking to The Great Gatsby is that it is a spectacular missed opportunity because the film that magazines should use to illustrate this trend is The Artist. Bérénice Bejo as the female lead, swishes about in 1920s frocks in such a manner that it made at least one member of the audience suffer palpable pangs of regret to not have lived in the 1920s (pesky Great Depression aside). But then,canada goose jackets of course, The Artist doesn't have famous American or British actors in it, unlike The Great Gatsby, so heaven forfend it should be used to illustrate anything in the American or British press, no matter how good it is.
Obviously, one can't blame "1920s glamour" for lazy xenophobia so go with this trend, Samantha. Try not to do it too literally (ie don't wear a round-the-forehead headband, Bat for Lashes-style), but allow yourself some fun (a long cigarette holder is excellent for swatting impertinent suitors on the shoulders), and then go and see The Artist. Follow these rules and you will feel that all is right and well in the world in 2012.
Who are the upcoming fashion icons I should be copying these days?
Charlotte (13), London
Charlotte, you're a young 'un so I won't be too stern with you. Instead, I shall take you under my benevolent wing, heavy with wisdom and experience, and tell you that you should not "copy" anyone's style, least of all anyone referred to as a "fashion icon." My dear child, anyone who labours under the term "fashion icon" is almost certainly barely half as intelligent as a 13-year-old who reads a broadsheet newspaper. All those interchangeable French actresses, daughters of half-forgotten British pop singers and American actresses who all seem to be called "Jessica" or "Kate" and yet have never appeared in a single decent film who magazines tout as "fashion icons"? Charlotte, they are all swines before the pearl that is you.
If you want to take fashion inspiration from anyone, take it from the glorious Betty White, who turns 90 tomorrow. Betty is probably best known in Britain for playing Rose on The Golden Girls, although she really is so very much more than that. She is one of the great female – never mind fashion – icons America has to offer. Everyone of taste and discernment should mark Betty's birthday by wearing a matching pastel "pant suit", as Betty calls 'em. A fashion icon should be so much more than just a skinny twentysomething with a smart stylist: it should be someone who you actively admire and, Charlotte, if you start now taking inspiration from Betty White as opposed to someone who just happens to have a famous parent you will lead a happy and colourful life.
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